On a conscious level, everyone wants to have enough money. But our psyche is like an iceberg, and we only see the part of it that’s on the surface. If you don’t have enough money or are anxious about it, then it’s worth looking deeper, into the unconscious.
Unconsciously we can be afraid of having money, ashamed of being rich.
We may shift the responsibility for our happiness to money. Or avoid money by keeping the memory of unhappiness that happened in our lineage.
If conscious and unconscious desires contradict each other, there is an internal conflict that causes anxiety and tension. And this prevents money from coming into our lives and taking the right place there.
In this article I will talk in detail about what are the variants of psychological interference. And how psychotherapy can help eliminate them, relieving you of your anxiety and making way for money to come into your life.
What makes money heavy? The psychological burden of money, that is, giving it excessive meaning. And this is a serious obstacle to prosperity. If the load is in your psyche, then you can make every effort to earn money, but it still does not come to you, or it is not enough.
For example, unconscious beliefs and excessive expectations create a burden. They prevent you from achieving prosperity and make you anxious about money.
On a conscious level, a person thinks: I want money, money will help me achieve my goals, make my life more comfortable. But at the same time there are unconscious expectations, such as:
money brings misfortune (negative belief)
money spoils people (negative belief)
money will make me happy, money will make people like me (excessive expectations, shifting responsibility for happiness and love to money)
money will enable me to help people (aspiration to be a rescuer)
The psychoanalytic psychotherapy I provide opens up access to the unconscious and thus helps us discover if you have interfering unconscious beliefs. When we know what is getting in our way, we can work through it and then the money hindrance will be eliminated.
The money hindrance is also created by feelings.
The main feelings that arise in relation to money are greed, fear and shame. When you think about money, you start thinking about new things you can buy, that is, the pleasure and happiness you will get because of it. If you don’t have money, you don’t feel safe and fear that this will always be the case. Lots of money, no money – you may feel ashamed of both.
Here are 6 of the most common fears:
1) Fear of losing money – if it appears, it will be stolen, taken away.
2) When income increases dramatically, anxiety increases: increased responsibility, fear of losing what we have earned, fear of losing our job, fear of exposure, fear of punishment for being rich.
3) Fear of not living up to family expectations placed on us from childhood.
4) It can be scary to share successes with parents. If there is a “you owe us” message from parents, they may try to take their money for themselves through the manipulation of imposed guilt.
5) Fear of being left without support. There is a hidden benefit of not having money – the habit of suffering, of getting lots of support (victim role). If I have a lot of money, no one will help me. After all, it is customary to help the poor, and there are few people who want to help the rich.
6) Fear of rejection, fear of becoming a pariah. If the family was poor, then to become rich is to break away from the family.
4 beliefs that make you ashamed to have money:
1) Poverty = nobility, honesty. Wealth = avarice, greed, deceit. Sometimes this is related to religious feelings, after all, “Jesus was poor”.
2) Getting money can cause feelings of shame, because “Our people don’t take cabs to the bakery”.
3) Shame to have more money than others, shame to be better than others.
4) The belief that you can’t earn a lot of money by honest labor. Therefore, to earn a lot of money is tantamount to becoming a swindler, which is shameful.
You may have identified a fear or shame and want to get rid of it.
Come to me for a consultation, we will explore how it is affecting your life, the reasons for it, and work on eliminating it.
Interfering beliefs and feelings are sometimes related to our personal experiences and sometimes to family and kin history. It is interesting how many similarities we can notice between ourselves and relatives who lived generations ago.
In psychotherapy, it can be very surprising to discover things about yourself that are not really yours, but alas, are hindering you.
Here are some examples of how family history affects our finances:
A large amount of money has brought misfortune to someone in the family. For example, your ancestors were subjected to krakulacha. Or one of your ancestors was killed because of money.
This is how the attitude “a lot of money is dangerous” became fixed, which was passed on down the lineage. So now you are uncomfortable having large sums of money and it seems that it would be easier to live without it.
The attitudes of those around you have created the belief that “it’s best to keep a low profile”.
And that message continues to get in the way of showing up in the world for the next generations. For example, it’s hard for you to show yourself as an expert – you feel like people are just waiting for that to attack you.
Both “money is dangerous” and “keep your head down” were necessary in the old days because they helped previous generations survive. But nowadays they are no longer relevant and are hindering us a lot.
Thieves or cheaters in the lineage also leave a mark. They can make us feel guilty and pay back the debt. We start staying away from money to feel like we are honest people.
Have you noticed how eagerly we listen to stories about great-grandparents?
Knowing about our ancestors helps us to know ourselves better: ancestral heritage always leaves subtle, subtle imprints on us, and we feel it in such stories.
And only if we know our ancestral history can we remove the attitudes that hinder us.
Alas, our grandparents are reluctant to talk about the horrors they experienced. And when traumatic events are kept silent, it is as if we are in their captivity.
You can endlessly work through the impostor complex or pump the cash flow, but no effect will not get.
Because without the history of the family, we do not even understand what prevents us, and where we got it from.
It is good that there are methods that help to learn about events in the family and work through them.
